Flop :(

Feeling a little blue today, Been racking my brain to try and get started making this more interesting I guess, or heck just post more in general.

I have tons of things running through my brain all day that would be fantastic to post and I sit down to the computer and flop! Nothing.

I'm tired of feeling less than average or second best. I feel like there is always someone a step ahead of me trying to show me up or make me look bad.

I'm tired of feeling like the one to make all the effort in friendships. I'm tired of the drama and the who did that or said what. I'm not into that anymore.

I'm tired of feeling like the odd ball, afterthought, or pity invite. I sign into my facebook or myspace and see all these people or so called friends and I feel like it is all a joke. They don't care about me or my family. Or I see people who I used to be so close with that act as if I don't even exist anymore. I guess I am just not good enough for them, I don't quite measure up to there standards, not as pretty or as fun or like to party. I don't have money and we are barely scraping by most of the time, I'm not a fortunate as most are with instant baby sitters or grandparents lining up to take my kids. Heck I have 4 kids so going out takes planning and apparently that is too much for my "friends"

I guess I am thankful for those few friends that to show they care and call or text or actually act interested in my life. And to those who don't I guess at this point I'm saying oh well, I'm tired and I'm done. You know where to find me.